The memory of love
The night was deep. Neither my son nor I was sleepy. Perhaps the nap time was too long. Through the bright moonlight, I saw the clear light flashing in my son’s eyes. Such pure light always reminds me of the ding-dong stream. He lay quietly on the bed, the temperature of the air conditioner is very suitable. Neither my son nor I took bedding. Only the voice of the air-conditioned plane buzzes, like the pesky mosquito that I caught up in the middle of the night. If it can’t fill its stomach with blood, it won’t stop. My son suddenly said, ” Tell me about your childhood.”? The naughty son begged me so earnestly that I had no reason to refuse. I know that he must also miss his childhood partner, that is, during the day, he also said that he had not seen Han Shiyu for several years. Han Shiyu is the best partner in his son’s childhood. Maybe he has seen Shiyu many times in his son’s dream.. When my son asked me so sincerely to tell him the story of my childhood, there were many pictures in front of my eyes, which appeared in my dreams countless times. They warmed my cold nights and took away my loneliness.. And these pictures, like slides, are vague, clear, superficial and profound. I’m just thinking a little bit. I want to know when and what I should start from. The son drew his body closer to me, and his hand naturally rested on my chest. Children, now my father will take you into my childhood together. It is so poor, but so rich; It is so sad but so happy. It is like a flowing water flowing through my dry heart. It is pure as clear water and beautiful as boundless grassland.. First of all, I want to tell you about the members of our family when I can remember. First of all, it was my grandfather. At that time, his trachea was not very good, but his body was hale and hearty.. Even what he said by the old nurse was remembered word by word. I went on to introduce the members of the extended family, my father, brother and sister, and he was the eldest. At that time, he studied in Huaiyuan Dongshan, usually going home every Friday night and Sunday afternoon, where he spent three years. My uncle, you know him. His family lives on the side of the road, a row behind the courtyard of our hometown, covered with two floors. The son said that he knew Tao Xiang’s father, who was wearing glasses.. As I listened, I said that my elder sister-in-law now lives in Zhongmiao. My brother – in – law, now he rubs his back in the bathhouse at home. My son hurriedly said, ” Was that him when I rubbed my back?”? I told him that he was in his hometown, which one was not. I know my brother-in-law lives in Gounan, we seldom meet when we go back, and it is understandable that my son does not know him.. I also feel my responsibility. Next time I go home, I must sit at my brother-in-law’s house so that my son can remember him. And my second sister – in – law, who is on the west side of sanhe middle school, is called Chen weizi. when I was teaching in sanhe primary school, she often sent me steamed buns. these memories are clear to me. My sister – in – law, now in Xi ‘an, came home only a few years ago. She was only a few years older than me, and we fought when we were young! Son snow a smile, the voice is so clear and crisp in this night, the bell is general. He said, dad, do you dare to hit your aunt? I know this boy asked with malicious intent. I said, of course, fighting is mutual. At that time, it was small and not sensible. Now I have no time to filial piety her, and I can never violate your grandfather’s family law. You don’t know it, don’t you think I can be beaten? However, at that time, we were noisy, mostly my sister-in-law was being trained, she was older than me and was an elder, and should follow me everywhere in the eyes of adults.. I said so much in one breath. My voice is a little dry. I said, I’m a little thirsty.. Son hurriedly got up from the bed, very agile, opened the door to the living room and brought a cup of tea to my mouth. I drank tea and freely praised my son for his understanding and filial piety. My son put his head gently on my chest, and happy clouds floated through his eyes. Father and son spoke, grandpa and grandma, in front of my mother and I told you that you were very sensible when you were a child. I suddenly felt a lot of emotion, which was accompanied by a lot of guilt. These complex feelings are dense in my heart, and my heart is full of feelings. I tried my best to control my emotions, or was I noticed by my son when I spoke. My son heard my voice choked up and touched my eyes with his hand. He always did this. When he felt my mood excited, he could not help touching my eyes, verifying whether my tears were flowing or not.. The son said, did you miss your grandparents? I called them and I hurriedly stopped him. I told him it was deep in the night and they should all go to bed. Don’t disturb them.. My son listened to me very much. When your grandfather went to Huaiyuan to study, I was just four years old, and there were not many things I could write down in my memory. I only remember the old locust tree in the east of our village, which is the only way for him to come back every time. Every time I listen to your grandmother say that your grandfather will come back this evening, I am so happy that I don’t know how to describe it. Before it was dark, I went down to the old locust tree on the east end of the village and waited for him. A four-year-old child stared at the intersection on the east side with eyes and eyes. I was extremely nervous and excited about the appearance of every figure.. When I saw that it was not my father, how anxious and how lost I was. When my father finally appeared in my field of vision, I flew into his arms like a bird.. Dad, I will always be lifted up high and then held in my arms, kissing my face with his stubble mouth.. Father always looks like magic, taking out a lot of delicious food from his bag. My son interrupted me and asked what was delicious. I smiled. It was some candy and some rice products similar to those of today. We all call it Jiaomi Cake.. The son said what’s good about it? My heart was wiped out by his casual remark.. Perhaps the children living in the present society can never understand the weight of those snacks, nor can they understand what surprises and temptations they bring to our rural children.. I heard my mother say that some of my elders in our village, in order to amuse me, wrapped mud in candy skins and asked me to kowtow to them.. I can’t bear such temptation when I’m young, and I can’t recognize the falsehood of those adults, so I knock my head with Mao Mao. I can’t remember how I peeled off the candy skin and saw the mud.. But now I can’t forgive these pranksters. Every time my mother tells who she is, I stop her.. I don’t want to know his name, for fear that it will affect my respect for him. Maybe he doesn’t deserve any respect at all. The time waiting for your grandfather to come back is unforgettable, and not every time you wait, you can get happiness and sweetness.. On one occasion, I waited until it was dark and still did not see my father. My mother, after settling in my brother and sister, came to find me under this old locust tree. Mother said to me that your father may not come back until very late today. I don’t believe it, crying and refusing to go back. My mother was also helpless and had to wait with me. What kind of time was that? I looked forward to it and was disappointed until it was dark. All my hopes were slowly swallowed up by the darkness. I still took my mother’s hand and looked back step by step on the way home. Although only the second light was visible, the road was completely wrapped in dusk.. How eager I was for my father to come quickly from the boundless road … Ah, but when I got home, my mother had finished cooking, and my father still didn’t come back.. I ate very little of that meal and kept chanting when my father would come back? I was always crying like that, maybe I was tired. I didn’t wait until my father came home and fell asleep.. Mother said, I still sobbed incessantly in my dream, as if I had suffered much injustice. My father naturally could not bear to wake me up when he came home. He must have kissed me incessantly on my face.. As I grew up slowly, I remembered more and more scenes. I know that our houses are all made of clay and covered with grass that I can’t call by name now, but I know that grass is not retting too hard and won’t leak easily.. My son suddenly asked me why I didn’t use bricks and tiles? I stroked his head and told him that at that time, it was difficult to find a brick in a village, which was too poor to be uncovered, and where there would be high-rise buildings. Son, stop talking. He seemed to see a thatched house like that. I asked my son, you have studied Du Fu’s rules of participation in songs broken by autumn wind in the hut.? The son said he had read it. Is du fu’s hut. At that time, we had separated from your old nurse, but the land was still ploughed together. The son asked again, what is separation? I said, there are more brothers and sisters in the family, and when the eldest brother gets married, he will naturally be separated out to live, a man and a married man will have to stand in his own way.. When you grow up, your mother and I will split up for you. I don’t want to split up! My son is a little angry. If you don’t want to stay with us and abandon our old age, we . Ah, son, gently cover my mouth with his hand, he doesn’t want to listen to me. I clutched his hand, put him in my chest, and then said, I know you must be a dutiful child, because now you are very sensible. The son put his face on my face. At that moment, he was so quiet. I know what he must be thinking, and I will not let his mother and I part with him when he grows up. At least, now he thinks so.I feel the child’s hot heart from his gentle actions. I said, the night is already deep. Let’s go to bed. Tomorrow is Sunday. Although we can sleep late, we can’t get up too late.. My son obviously still wants me to go on, and I promise him to tell him what I have experienced every night, whether it is painful or happy, after all, it is my own experience. I don’t want to add any embellishments to it. I just want to express my memory in my language exactly. It’s like telling a distant story, but it’s extremely real. I don’t need to use gorgeous language or elaborate ideas. I just gently pull away the curtain of memory, and all the happy and sad things pour down like moonlight.. I can already hear my son’s well-proportioned breathing. He’s sleeping soundly next to me.. However, I didn’t feel sleepy, perhaps because I didn’t go on talking happily and my heart was unwilling to do so.. I know, how can these past events be finished in a night’s time. Perhaps, the tentacles of my memory will be excited involuntarily and involuntarily every time they extend into that soft time.. In that perfect time, every memory was as precious as gold. I couldn’t help thinking of my grandfather, my big old man, big milk, my third milk, and my old milk, the clever uncle, they all left us forever. I still have their smiling faces and kindness in my memory, as if they never left.. Every year when offering sacrifices to ancestors, I always go to their graves and knock a few heads to express my thoughts on them.. Time ah, you are so heartless, now the little yazi in your eyes is approaching the age of doubt.. The night was really quiet. Without the sound of a car, I thought I was back in my hometown, Xinweizi.. Gradually, when I was sleepy, I fell asleep. In my dream, I heard the voice of my hometown and someone calling me the name of my baby.. The hot day finally passed, and I continued to tell the story of yesterday: your old nurse’s family lives in front of my house and is also a dilapidated thatched cottage, with its back wall tilted slightly and propped with several pieces of wood.. Every time I went there to play, my mother stopped me and told me that it was a dangerous place.. Now think about it and feel scared. Your family lives in such a dangerous place.. The memory should have been for several years. The old house became a bricklayer’s house. At that time, I almost graduated from primary school.. I feel how terrible poverty is and how much suffering and helpless patience people in it have to endure. My son listened to me in a low voice. He pulled me with his hand in the hope of pulling me out of those sad memories.. I went on to say that my house was built only after separation, although it was piled up in mud, at least it did not tilt. I remember once when I took my sister, who was two years younger than me, and my mother locked the door of the courtyard and gave me an order to take good care of her.. My mother took her brother to work in the field and didn’t come back until it was getting dark. My sister and I may be tired of playing, sitting on the threshold against the door, and my sister will soon sleep. I put her head on my shoulder. Although I am only five years old, I know how to take care of my sister.. I couldn’t hold her, put her on the ground slowly and brought her bedding to the back room. It’s late autumn and it gets cold when it gets dark. I put the quilt over my sister’s body and looked abstractedly at the net-shaped door made of locked bamboo poles.. The mother finally came back, and the younger brother slept soundly in her arms. The mother put her brother on the bed while she carried her sister on the threshold to the bed. When it was dark, when my mother entered the back room, there was no kerosene lamp, and a soft, long object was mixed under her feet.. Mother was frightened. Maybe she realized it was a big snake. Mother went to Mengcheng No.1 Middle School and was an intellectual. Her family condition was very good at the time.. My foreign father is a cadre. My mother didn’t work very much at home when she was not married.. Listen to my father, my mother hasn’t been hoeing till now, but in those years, when my father was studying, how could such a living mother not do it?. You can think about how much my mother suffered and how much she suffered in those years.. The mother was very timid and weak. She could not hesitate to bring her brother and sister out of the back room quickly.. She kept banging on the floor of the back room with a long stick. She wanted to get rid of the snake.. Mother murmured in her mouth, all expecting snakes to leave quickly and not to hurt us.. After the mother carried her brother and sister out, she had no courage to go back to the house. She did not dare to light the lamp, but kept cuddling us one by one. I think, at that moment, my mother was scared and didn’t know what to do. It took a long time to remember my uncle who lived in the front row. Uncle lit the lamp and went into the back room, only to find that it was a straw rope with one end near the leg of the bed and the other end swept into the corner by his mother’s long stick.. We had a false alarm when I remembered that the rope was picked up from the yard when I played games with my sister and I put it there. As I wiped tears from my mother’s eyes, I told her that I put them there. Mother didn’t blame me, but tears flowed more. At that time, the mother was really hard. At this point, I couldn’t help thinking of some lyrics: Mom, I miss you gently under the moon, and I miss you quietly in the blood, Mom, your arms, the smell of my life’s love, the smell of clothes you have basked in, Mom, under the moon, you have a family to leave, though half a step is the end of the world’s day, why do you miss tears, love for a long time, live happily in a painful heart, but remember your heart’s message … Ah, I can’t help singing this song, and my son will sing with me, this song is so sweet in this night.. Ah, those days, those memories are full of love!