First Kiss

First Kiss

By admin 0 Comment 2019-02-01

My first kiss was taken away at the age of sixteen I started going to school year.The so-called killed, because the matter is I’m a non-conscious, non-active, all the arrangements to get it to that woman get together.I remember her appearance, it is a correct and looks blackish face, thin lips, light eyes, the face is not bad.After most of these impressions is not from herself, but kissed, she presented me a photo of her bust.I put the photo wallet, at leisure beside the basketball shelf, in the sun, open ornamental, daydream, trance; look or watch for when paying in the canteen queue.So go through six months, the face and the eyes on that photograph printed deep into my mind to go.I was the lack of adequate impression of her own.This is either because, whether in the classroom or meet halfway, once her into my eyes, as if my heart immediately took one kind of sense of urgency “encounter enemy”, but rather little to look at her face and.Another reason was that I often addicted to fantasy, a rare sober observation of reality directly.  That is what kind of indulge in the fantasy of it?For example, said, the pot of thick clusters of flowers in front of us, then Yixianzhixia, they feel like it extraordinarily prosperous, that it leaves look different, yet another piece after a shaded , and there will be a line of sight will shift slightly touched me, and therefore my heart is always filled with a beautiful mood.I remember looked from the window of the classroom, is a majestic Castle, during which the yellow dust winds crossed the ridge trail.Whenever I gazed silent hills under the sun, the eye hit that poor trail, my heart will emerge a picture of the traveler trek over hill and off – completely silent, keep our noses tight mouth, looking at an inch remove the back inch of dust, Rehan under cover clothes – long lonely fantasy when I watched this silent mountains that picture is.  Both say that first kiss, it is necessary to explain my understanding of love that time.Before I was twelve years old, for older women only feel admiration and joy of being obedient love with, and for women of a similar age, such as next to the seat of the same class, the heart and emotions are mostly competitive exclusion, that is, as the their enemy.Tiaopi Jin riddles to defeat them is great unhappiness in my life, but argued the girls also extremely hateful, these two, and I was the attitude of the boys-identical, not to mention the natural factors of love.After twelve years old, this girl suddenly for no reason and give birth to a deep sense of intimacy.As if to get a garden, Dong Fu, only two in which she and I, both fully appreciate and delight in each other’s behavior demeanor.It is very close to the emotional intimacy of the partnership, at the time, we often called each other “intimate friends”.But the outcome is a failure.Failure although I lost, however, as the psychological function gradually mature, focus my mind toward the other direction, we will be lost soon forget.  People – male students and female students – not so attracted me, attracted me become a natural.After the storm, I love to see the spread of damaged leaves fall to the ground, watching the black bark is trampled into very fine, quite desolate look; I love to go to a secluded place, desolate place to go.Old water pipes or where there is a mottled red rust corrupt, or an old house, window edge already rotten, the door closed, they all silently under the hot sun waiting time elapse.These views are dilapidated, but they are so close to my heart.My eyes who learn from their sorrow, my heart then enrich.So a year later, the summer after graduating from junior high school, my classmates I almost forgot all about.Because do not have homework, time a large section of a large segment of the idle, I went outside to see the flowers open Xie, see the kids fishing pond.And they campaigned for the joy that point vividly harvest.I felt I was no longer happy for this harvest.I just followed behind them, without saying does not ring, the look of the pool rippling blue water.Wait until high school entrance, I have formed a personality trait big silence in the fantasy of a half-day.  After school I met a new friend, he was like to watch martial arts.I live with him, he was part of the novel soon on the pillow I often used to look.The more of them are listed, the more fit the hand, because I was always worried about a female warrior book.That book is primarily written by a man knight.His temperament cynical, aloof rude, four swordsman who make trouble for celebrities.That female knight in love with him, teach him not often found followed him, and he loved is another unreasonable woman.Today, this kind of love triangle plot is not really a surprising thing, is simply fabricated creators can then in my eyes almost lifelike female knight.Male knight is not Dali her, she gave him wounded on the dressing, to pack clothes, good words to comfort, docile personality to be exhausted him.Women’s image in my mind from wandering.I go on the road, perhaps thinking she would follow behind me; I lay in bed, thinking she might be sitting on the bed to watch over me – because she knows medicine, even though I did not sick.I really believe that good character of the people there, I look forward to such a person to come to me, listen to my words, and I will not like her male warrior-like cold.  The reason to mention this, because I think I have to get new ideas of love, intimacy is not only the opposite sex, is not just a trusted partner, which it is already a personality of admiration.It was my first kiss when I was in such a concept of love happens.  Things should start with one of my notebook.I nurtured by the roommate, read novels, more and more, both as songwriters and prose books.In the book I could run into a few sentences, at first glance, but says the usual sight, but if I say it’s shining Think, think back to the past which time it had a place, then, the visions suddenly become real, and it can be a sympathetic.I think these are the best sentence under the sun, text, essay on the school newspaper, the teacher cited cases, they are not as good the whole.They are really delineate a picture of sentence.I ordered their copy on a book.Obedience considerate wrote novels that this woman’s story, and I excerpt a few paragraphs on which.As far as I remember, the following sentence I have copied this into the yard: “offer all kinds of willowy, the worth of scenery, like the weeping willow breeze ago.”” Who in the evening listening to the sad poplar?  Who tour group of birds in the cold wind noise?  Who went up the mountain walk, quiet, deciduous forests to pick thirty-two Bodhi?”Kiss me I’m the girl decided to implement her plan, and I think this book has a lot of.She has been noted before me – I answered questions in class, childish speech, aroused the whole class laugh; moreover, I was stepping on one pair of single shoes, a pair of black trousers, tall and straight dress can be considered to recruit people to pay attention.After school twenty-three weeks, she often came, I sat down in front of that seat, I twist around to asking questions.If I was writing, she was surprised and asked: “class was still writing it?”If I do not stop writing, she laughed:” They say you one, you do not write it?”According to this scenario, it appears that any of my behavior contains all the words she surprised the curious power.  Since she often next to my desk, I have a laptop that was not surprising that she found.She turned a few pages, he said, he would like to take to see.After a day in the evening, she came to return the book to me, under the dim light, she looked very quiet this time look, tone of my curiosity and make fun of the whole molecule is gone, hands in her lap, Ann a lot of points.She said: “There’s a sentence I have read the.”I was this book is entirely as a personal thing, the mind alone is intoxicating place.We can see comments guangyan woman makes her headdress external intoxicated, but there are not outstanding woman secretly pay attention to their own internal intoxicated sleeves skirts; it is the book for which I kind of intoxication.So she will return the book I had in mind is the whole thing about the book, and looked around a bit indifferent.Then she kept looking at me, and I noticed her face was as if I’ve done anything to offend her things generally look.I asked her: “What do you do?”She put her face changed, kindly said to me:” You and I go outside to talk.”We went to the corridor, she asked me what’s the fun of the story in the past, what do Sunday.I took truthfully answer, she often hear a loud laugh.I quite wonder why she smiled, I thought my thing really is not very interesting.But she’s happy mood infected me, and talked with her, she always take care of me, I was always surrounded by warmth and kindness, I feel my heart is very smooth beauty.I do not know who moved Zhang empty desks in the hallway, I sat up.October is outside the eaves of the stars, the slightest breeze blowing, my legs light Dangzhuo.She asked my junior high school life, the habit of asking me, appreciates me, because I laugh at.I miss that one scene – cool stars, the night wind Xu, a woman looking up at me.  After that night, the next day, I opened the book, saw this place on the back end, add pencil writing, as follows: “Jill, you are the most special guy I’ve ever seen, you seem long after the rain out new shoots, soft, fresh, endearing.You are a person clean.I like you.”It was phrased in love with a student, commonly used is ‘like’, with a little ‘love’, because he is not sure about the heart, she said this is not called love.So here she is with that age has the highest level of vocabulary to express the feelings of the.I copied these words on a piece of paper stating her name, the collection of paper in a box.Pencil writing on this I also do not wipe, because I think it is also good sentences, touched me more than anything to the text, verse, and graceful writing is also an excellent embellishment.The impact these words bring to my mind, except when I think of her, feeling the smooth beauty of the original light, full of joy turned into quiet, such as floating dandelion landed warm in the same land, in addition to still there are two changes.  At first the change, and that this has a lot of novels I read.As already mentioned, the novel woman in a male knight in love with the attitude of sacrifice, regrets to pay, and suffer all the pain.These valiant men are due to pain does not love her, she snubbed born.I’ve read the message the girls, and she had to control my excessive curiosity up, I believe she loved me was do not be afraid of the fact that.This time, her figure and my impression of female knight figure coincides with the unconsciously.I think she must have in order to pay for my happiness.I think if one day I was sick and can not go to class, she must be secretly worry, it will go around searching for others to deal with the legend of my disorder therapy.I think if one day I said to her, I really tired two new words a day transcribing, she certainly was not quiet, but quietly in the night to write new words for me, I put on the table.Although I know her and soon, but these qualities – wordless pay, secretly concerns that doctors Woman has, I believe is also for her has.I think that she has always straight do her utmost to be good to me.  Second, she said the message, I am the gentle, refreshing and this makes me reflect on, do I really such a man it?This evaluation not only I’ve never heard of, is wanted but it never occurred.I own the other hand, is it that the body is stretching, looked thin weak, so that makes her want to do?Or it is not yet deep and heavy voice, speech somewhat feminine soft (assume so), so that makes her want to do?Or my temperament really no tendency mighty rude, it really is mild humility?These issues such as tight as I imprint.When I stood on the lawn at dusk, saw the sky due to the darkening sky and clouds appear ink, I will realize their loneliness, their silence, my heart can not help but think: “I see her at the moment Mo Yang to be very soft, right.”Then my state of mind softened, and felt a little happy.Her words changed my.Take the “soft” word, the earlier it is for me but a plain words, it is reminding me now.Where soft place in my behavior, gentle place, it allows me to clearly and consciously to.  Later, two or three weeks, her figure lingering in my mind.I was in class when the teacher named in question, when I stood in front of the queue to do calisthenics, when these are in the limelight under when I move the classroom holding books, my heart and nervous than ever to be happy, and that was all because her sake.The past, we do gymnastics, boys mostly from iron railing turning it off, jump off a high slope, landing in the playground.At this time I do not go this route of adventure.I changed from the normal road of gentle detour.I think I should be gentle, because she might be seen.She still always come and talk to me, or sitting across from me, or in the hallway, or in the window.Her attitude seemed to change, the previous strong curiosity disappear, thereby reducing speech teasing ingredients.In addition, she was not satisfied with the way I was occasionally exposed, as if she had a hint of meaning, why do I not know.I do not understand why she was not satisfied with me, I thought to myself I treat her attitude is far from male warrior to be the attitude of bad doctors Woman.The only thing she would her home phone number to tell me, and I never call her.  To a Sunday, she went to the school to see me.Originally I do not live on campus, is living with a roommate in rental houses near the school, because too close, so often read a book or walking holiday in schools.It was a sunny day, I saw her upstairs window, step by step ascend the slope, dragging behind her shadow.Afar off, her posture seemed really weak, sun tan maybe she was thirsty.I felt she was like a trek of people.She went upstairs and see me laugh.While we were talking as usual, and this time she laughed to be extra more, do not laugh where she laughed.She especially loved to ask, I love making things difficult, often said: “Really?Are you sure this really the case?”She is not the intention in talking to me, she was thinking about something else, say many words deliberately conceal – that I can see.We all have a moment of silence.Warm October sun shone on us, on the window, the mountain was full of dead leaves hanging from tree branches, a fire can burn them.The fields after the harvest, straw piled with hay scattered distribution, which has long been dry, some warm hut.Streams across the field entirely to cover up the reeds, I do not know whether there are below the water, and reeds will also be dry, dry sound in the wind.October is so, the whole earth like a fire can burn like!Only near, red soil in the garden, lay down a good green vegetables, as well as waste back cover of bamboo baskets covered with unknown.Then she made the determination of the action, told me: “I have something for you, you close your eyes, reach out to.”I did not remember what she was holding his hand, which is about right in your pocket.I Yi Yan eyes closed, out of hand.Then, I felt a soft, cool pair of wet handprints on my neck, my lips are followed by her lips lightly press with finger.  I do not dwell on it to be kissed What a feeling.Brought me the greatest touch is not so much feel the first kiss, as it is the fact that first kiss.I think most people are so.I now can not remember what the feeling is that time, and this is the first since the lips have been not very keen senses, the second is her first since the cool hand on my neck, so I am a little surprised, the results focus all flow to the neck, ignoring the lips.I still remember her fingers are slightly wet.  After kissed, my heart naturally confused.She soon went home, I took my feelings of confusion, then look at the scenery outside the window of autumn, they have become a glaring brilliant!They really like burning, my heart was warm bake.  I stood for a moment under the sun, and to the iron fence to sit for a while, I feel there are many things to think about.When the sun go down, I thought in my heart to announce the conclusion: “First, come to find out that he is not like her.  ”Second, if it is, I naturally should be her treat me the same degree of good treat her.  ”If not, I should have urged her to give up, but she still treats me the same degree of good treat her.”I think proper countermeasures well above the long sigh of relief.I look forward to a conversation with her at that time, I need to pay attention to whether he loves her.  However, things are not as I expected way of development.She never come to my front seat, sat down with my long talk.Elsewhere met, she pretended not familiar with the way I had.After a week, I understand she was treated me with indifference.  ”She met any trouble yet?”I wonder.  Soon I heard such rumors among students: she’s a bad girl, she’s gone out with her boyfriend use the abacus is probably only numbered, which also is a free game to make fun of her.I hear very embarrassed, I do not know they have no qualifications on abacus.Later, I often saw her slapstick with different boys, this rumor is probably true.  I will send my bust her previous photos taken from the wallet, written on the back of her phone number into the box.During that message on her laptop also wiped.I feel my heart is not very disappointed, did not suffer mood.But I was no longer yearn for female knight like figures.As for her comment on my evaluation, I still do not understand that if her truth.    March 12